5 Golden Rules To Protect Your Children From The Divorce Tug-Of-Wars
Recent research shows that around 40-50% of couples in the United States end up in a divorce. And, these life changes affect over 1.5 million children each year.
It further demonstrates that divorce tends to contribute to heart-wrenching consequences on children. Some of the most visible signs are anxiety, depression, anger, and social difficulties. What's even unfortunate is that kids tend to experience changes in long-term attitudes towards their marriage and divorce.
With such impactful changes, divorcing parents wonder, "what should they say to their children"? Or, what should be their steps to make their children cope with a divorce?
Though every child and family situation is unique, the experts in divorce mediation suggest guidelines to follow. Some of these are:
● No Blame Games:
Divorcing parents must avoid blaming one another while explaining their reasons for divorce. Though varying circumstances surround the divorce, it is better not to expose your child to the fault. Children must love each parent in an unconditional and unblemished manner.
If either of the parents begins blaming the other, the child may feel more resentment and anger towards that parent. So, make sure you use non-judgemental language. Use words like arguing, change, and disagreement.
By doing so, you'll be able to gear explanations appropriately.
● No Put-Downs of the Other Parent:
Parents must never label the other in negative terms, especially regarding parenting, characteristics, and personality. Never let your child witness your negativity and anger, no matter how bad the situation goes.
Even if one parent decides to end the marriage, make sure the other respects the decision. And, never assign abandonment and blame for the other, especially in front of your child. Things like these will help your child idealize and remain connected to each parent in the same manner as they were before. And, why not?
It is emotionally and cognitively challenging for a child to hear damaging information about their dreamy mom or superhero dad.
● Unique Developmental Needs of the Child:
Every child is unique and has their developmental track and emotional capacity. Thereby, parents must be mindful of each child's developmental stage and their needs. Also, parents should be flexible when it comes to planning their divorce transition.
Things like a new living situation must be in coherence with the child's developmental abilities.
● Fairness:
When two competent parents involve themselves in a divorce, the mediation professionals suggest parents be fair. Yes, both parents must have equal rights for holidays, schedules, birthdays, etc. This equality also includes financial, school decisions, and health.
Know that the more parents treat each other with respect and fairness, the better it will be for the kid.
● Cooperative Co-parenting:
Studies show a child to fare better when parents continue to present and cooperatively co-parent their kid, even after the divorce. Conflicts and disagreements among parents regarding the child's schedules, schools, and living situation must find a quick resolution.
Know that these things will help the child adapt to the divorce better. Experts exclaim that children are the most impacted by chronic and high-conflict divorces.
The Verdict
Although a divorce isn't easy for the couple, it can have severe implications for the child to adapt and process the situation.
However, reading through the above guidelines, you'll be able to ensure that their child continues to thrive- both during and after this significant life change.