How Can You, As A Parent, Not Be Hated By Your Teenage Child

Life with a teenager can be (and often is) hell. There are no books, manuals, or tips to help you deal with the daily onslaught of hormones – especially if you struggle to make a living.

At some point, your teenage offspring will certainly hate you, but sometimes as a parent, you can influence the way you approach them. Then you might get lucky and understand what it means when teens say that a parent is, at best, a snob or a nuisance.

Recall Yourself, but Then Recall That the Time Is Different

The biggest problem in understanding your child’s attitude is the generation gap. Even if you recollect what you were like as a teenager, the time your child grows up in is different now, so you simply can’t understand what kind of ‘nonsense’ your teenager likes, what fascinates them, the decisions he/she makes…

If you rewind the ‘movie’ of your teenage age far enough, you’ll remember that you haven’t had as many problems as today’s adolescents have and that the pressure is much greater in this modern age to them than it was to you in their age. Try to take this into account the next time they slam the door of your room.

Respect Your Child’s Privacy

Adolescence is a period when your child discovers things about themselves that will surprise and shock them. Discovering what excites him/her and what attracts him/her, will make them aware of their shortcomings more than ever before, and that’s not easy at a time when society is openly pointing a finger at them. At the same time, they will discover that not all friendships are lasting and that people are cruel – and everything they understand, they will want to keep for themselves.

Respect that. Don’t read their messages, don’t ask unnecessary questions, don’t monitor them on social media. When your child is ready, he/she will tell you everything you need to know, and what you’re supposed not to find out, you really don’t need to know.

Turn a Blind Eye to Some Things

Parents know, hear, and foresee a lot – especially maternal instinct is often infallible (sorry dads). But also, you don’t need to show that you know some things. The teenage period is a very ‘slippery slope’, and if you embarrass your child about something completely normal (which may not be normal for your child to do in your perspective), it’ll have lasting consequences. They will question their decisions and their attitudes, and that will be difficult for a teenager.

You know he tried a cigarette? Okay, who among us haven’t in that age, don’t be a hypocrite. She was 15 minutes late for home? It’s an academic 15 minutes, don’t get clung to just about every little thing. He played one or two rounds on slots at one of the online casinos at TopCasinoExpert.com? It’s not a problem, just tell him that it should remain a pastime and nothing more. If you turn a blind eye to less important things, you’ll have much more power when the real problem comes (and it will come).

Don’t Feel Guilty When You Set Boundaries

Just when these big things come up, when the problem becomes something that a child can’t handle on their own, you have to take the helm. No matter how hard you try to be friendly, sometimes you can and should jeopardize all that effort when you have to react more severely and set boundaries. However, it’s an imperative and it’s important for a child, especially in their teenage years. They are like babies then, they think they can do everything themselves, but they can’t. That’s why the parents are here.

Your kid will be grateful to you in the long run and will remember that example when they are parents, and will look up to you, but in the short run, they’ll probably hate you. It's a ‘gift’ for every teenage parent – yey (ironically, of course)!

Show Your Weaknesses in Moderation

Every teenager’s worst moment is when they realize that their father or mother is struggling with similar problems as they are. That they feel unhappy, that they are dissatisfied, that they are struggling, that people are giving their parents problems, that someone is raising their voice against them…

That’s why you need to show your emotions in moderation. You shouldn’t play the role of a superhero-mom or superhero-dad, but you should also not constantly emphasize your personal dissatisfaction because a child can get the impression that they have something to do with it – children often don’t understand that parents have a life outside the home.

Give the Child an Example That One Can Do Everything They Imagine

The best advice anyone will ever give you is to live your life. By entering a teenage, your child is finally big enough to be able to take care of themselves! You can dedicate yourself to friendships, to spending time with your partner somewhere outside the home, to travel somewhere you could never travel with a small child. Attend a course, focus on the job, start over if you haven’t done well so far in that department.

Show your child that one can achieve everything they imagine if they are valuable enough, and give your child an example that a woman isn’t only a mother and that a man isn’t only a father, but that they are also ‘warriors’ and successful in their jobs.