The Best Ways You Can Support Your Family Member In Addiction Recovery
Loving someone in addiction recovery isn’t an easy road. You want to support your family member any way you can, but you walk a fine line between enabling and showing that you care.
You might not know what to do, and your anxiety can give you paralysis. Here are seven of the best ways you can support your family member in addiction recovery.
1. Educate Yourself
Knowing what you’re up against is half the battle. Please take time to educate yourself about the detrimental effects of drugs on the body — and mind. For example, understanding that alcohol can trigger anxiety helps you understand your family member’s erratic behavior when they first start to come clean.
The lessons learned aren’t only to comfort your family member. Unfortunately, many relatives of those struggling with addiction mistakenly blame themselves, thinking they caused the problem — but recovery isn’t about pointing fingers. Rather, it’s about finding ways to move forward healthfully and positively, including addressing toxic dynamics if necessary.
Recovery can help strengthen your family bond when you go through the process together. Actively listen when your loved one shares information that they learned regarding addiction so that you can take part in their journey.
2. Provide Resources
You need to proceed with caution with this tip. Providing resources does not mean enabling your family member in recovery by providing them with money or other means to buy the problematic substance.
To understand the difference, examine your underlying motivations before giving into your loved one’s requests. People who enable sometimes do so to avoid conflict — are you merely trying to skip an argument? Or are they asking for something reasonable, like money for yoga classes to do as a healthy alternative to using?
3. Praise Successes
Your family member in recovery will pass many milestones. Those who participate in 12-step programs mark such occasions with a chip and recognition — doing so celebrates their sobriety and provides a tangible reminder to stay clean.
Whether or not your loved one participates in such a program, you can benefit from the spirit of such tokens. If your family member posts on social media that they are 30 or 60 days into recovery, react and share an uplifting comment or image. Plan celebrations around milestones, perhaps going out to eat to mark each monthly sobriety anniversary.
4. Actively Listen
Your loved one in recovery will undoubtedly experience a gamut of emotions, and not all of them will be pleasant. Many people turn to substance abuse to avoid dealing with trauma, and their demons rear their ugly heads once they no longer numb them with drugs and alcohol. It’s incredibly isolating to struggle with sometimes overwhelming feelings without having someone with whom to share and process them. Loneliness can trigger a relapse.
Now is the time to brush up on your active listening skills. While you might feel tempted to respond with upbeat-sounding phrases like, “cheer up — at least you got clean,” such statements can ring hollow to someone who feels worse than when they were using. Instead, invite your family member to share their emotions, asking beforehand if they want to get advice or simply to vent.
5. Suggest Alternative Activities
Addiction recovery is an uneven road. It might seem like a breeze to stay away from ruminating thoughts about substance use while at work. Things change when your family member is home on the couch with nothing but Netflix for company.
Please invite your loved one along to alternative activities that don’t involve drugs and alcohol. Exercise is a fabulous healthy habit — perhaps you can take a Zumba or Pound class together at the gym? With summer here, many parks and recreation programs have sports leagues for people of all ages. Less active sorts might enjoy a book club or knitting circle.
6. Set a Positive Example
Your loved one will need to stay away from circumstances that trigger them to use drugs and alcohol, at least at first. They could use your support — meaning that you should probably clean out the liquor cabinet if you share a home.
If you don’t live with your family member in recovery, exercise sensitivity when you get together. Are you in charge of throwing the annual family reunion and barbecue? Please ensure you provide plenty of non-alcoholic beverages and activities like lawn darts and cornhole to avoid the temptation to grab a brewski.
7. Seek Help for Yourself
You deserve TLC along with your family member. Watching someone struggle with addiction can kick up all kinds of negative emotions. Plus, you might have trauma to work through if their substance use contributed to abusive behavior toward you.
Please seek out counseling if you have the means to do so. Investigate community resources that charge sliding scale fees if you lack insurance. You can also find online and in-person support groups that you can attend for free, although donations are appreciated.
Support a Family Member in Recovery These 7 Best Ways
Supporting a family member in recovery is challenging. Please use the seven tips above to help them on their healing journey.