What Is The Father’s Role In Developing EQ?

We are more aware than ever before about the emotional intelligence of humans and more importantly about how children’s develop emotional intelligence. Naturally the large majority of this comes from the parents and their attitudes towards teaching emotional skills, and the role of the father in this is far more important that we once believed. Research which has been carried out at the University of Washington has made some fascinating discoveries in the role which a father has to play when it comes to the emotional intelligence of their child, let’s take a look.

Destined For Greatness 

There is much debate around what is better for a child between EQ and IQ in terms of giving them the best chance of success. EQ-expert Travis Bradberry wrote a wonderful book called Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and within that he tackles this very topic. In his bestselling book he talks about how those with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time, and this is down to the higher levels of EQ which they have, Travis goes on to say that in general those with a higher EQ earn an average of $29,000 more than those with a lower EQ.

Father’s Role 

A mother has a naturally occurring nurturing nature which greatly helps children to form a stronger emotional intelligence. Historically a father wouldn’t have been heavily involved in this process but as the family dynamic and the role of men and women in society has changed, so too has the impact which a father has on his children. In John Gottman’s book ‘Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child’ he talks about emotional intelligence training and cites 5 things that a father can do in order to increase the emotional intelligence of their child: 

1. Become aware of the child’s emotion

2. Recognize the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching

3. Listen with empathy, validating the child’s feelings

4. Help the child label the emotion with words

5. Set limits while helping the child explore strategies to solve the current problem

Findings  

The research which Gotten did for this book found that fathers generally fall into 2 categories, those who help to guide their child through the emotions of life, and those who do not. In being the type of father who does not care for the emotions of their child, the result will be a child who grows up with a significant lack of emotional intelligence, regardless of how well the mother did in this regard. Links have also been made between the physical health of a child, and how those with fathers who actively support the emotionally have lower risk of disease and generally remain in good physical condition. A final point to be made on this is the knock on effect of being a father who tries to emotionally guide their child. Young men who have this level of support are almost 100% more likely to then do the same with their children in the future.

As we can see, the father’s role in the emotional intelligence of a child is greatly important.