Communication: What Parents Should Do If Kids Have Difficulties While Speaking

Children are direct and sincere, and adults can only envy their ease of contact. Most of them have no problem communicating with strangers. They can easily approach a stranger in the street, smile at him and sing a song. They can see someone their own age from a distance and invite them to play in the sandbox. That's all fine - social skills are important for a child's growth and development, but what if other children don't do it as easily?

Communicating at Different Ages

Social and communication skills have their own peculiarities of development. Let's run through the main stages.

Baby from 0 to 18 months:

  • Brings objects to mom and dad to show them.

  • Tries to get attention with sounds, gestures, grabbing parents hand.

  • Protests something by shaking heads or pushing objects away with hands.

  • Comments on an object or action, attracting attention.

18 months to 2 years old:

  • Uses words or short phrases ("hello," "bye"; protests: "no," "mine"; makes confident statements: "this is a blue balloon").

  • Frequently asks questions: "What is it?"; is interested in everything.

  • Tries to talk a lot with close and strangers.

2 - 3.5 years old:

  • Understands and feels the other person's role in play.

  • Participates in more interactions.

  • Begins to recognize the needs of others.

  • Feels the difference in communication with peers and adults.

  • Confirms his/her partner's messages ("yes", "okay").

  • Begins to use language when making up stories and getting creative.

  • Asks for permission to do actions ("Mom, can I go outside?").

  • Begins to correct others, considers his or her opinion important.

4-5 years old:

  • Uses clarifying terms correctly ("this," "that," "here," "there").

  • Uses language to discuss emotions and feelings.

  • Uses indirect requests ("I'm hungry" to ask for food).

  • Develops storytelling skills. The child can already describe the sequence of events.

5-6 years old:

  • Storytelling ability improves, and the toddler is now able to create a complete story with a central character, plot, narrative character, and logical chain of events.

  • Can threaten and insult relatives and strangers.

  • Praises others ("Good for you for doing that.").

  • Makes promises (e.g., "I promise I'll do it tomorrow.").

These are common signs of development. However, remember all kids are different. Some can start asking you about how to play football or other sports at 22Bet when they are 3, and others only start speaking at this age. 

How to Identify Problems

It's fine when a child makes friends, gradually learns communication skills, and enters society gently, without sudden jumps or difficulties. But how can you tell if a child has problems with social parenting and when should parents be worried?

Pay attention to these signs:

  • Children have difficulty maintaining one topic of conversation.

  • They don't try to get adults' attention because they don't know how to do it correctly.

  • Often stand too close to the interlocutor, do not feel the concept of "personal space".

  • Don't like to fantasize and tell stories inconsistently.

  • Do not listen well to their partner and cannot stand dominating the conversation.

  • When they do not understand, do not ask to explain or repeat information.

  • Sometimes cannot interpret tone and intonation of voice correctly (do not distinguish a sad or aggressive tone from a joyful one).

  • Use language in limited ways (e.g., only giving directions or making statements, but not greeting or asking questions).

  • They have difficulty understanding another person's point of view.

  • Have difficulty making friends.

When a child has trouble socializing, pay attention to the following points:

  • Behavior. For example, the child refuses to go to school events, including friends' birthdays. Or he behaves inappropriately: pulls girls' hair, fights, yells at someone to get attention.

  • Sensory skills. Accuracy of movements, timely reactions and reflexes - everything should work in harmony. The child should feel his or her body confidently in the environment around him or her.

  • The learning process. For example, a student misinterprets oral or written assignments, does not respond to prompts and algorithms, or has difficulty with creative writing.

  • Planning skills. He has difficulty setting and solving sequential, multi-step tasks or taking action to achieve a clearly defined outcome.

  • Memory development. Poor ability to store information, use it among other people. Learning new topics is hard.

  • Susceptibility, articulation, and expressiveness of language. Ideally, he/she should understand what he/she is saying and use language through speech signs, sounds, visuals, gestures, and other alternative forms of communication;

  • Play skills. Play is important in childhood. The toddler should participate voluntarily in communicative activities, which usually involve teamwork and achieving cooperative goals.

What Can Parents Do to Help Their Child Learn Communication Skills?

Talk to teachers, school counselors, or educators to talk about his or her characteristics and get their professional opinion. Voice your concerns, set goals, and develop strategies to support your child in learning and school life.

You can start speech therapy at home. Communicate more with your daughter or son, be aware of moods, routines, preferences and desires. Always make time to talk.

Create social stories within the family to mimic life situations. For example, how to go shopping, visit grandparents, go to school or the park for the first time, make friends or apologize.

Practice with expressions of emotions: show different moods and discuss in parallel what the baby felt and saw, whether he/she interpreted the emotion on your face correctly. 

Use comics or books that illustrate different social situations. You want ones that have a detailed description, an engaging plot, and a logical denouement.