Dad POV: Establishing A Firmer Presence In A Child’s Life From Birth
There’s a good reason they are being referred to as mama bears; they’re always and constantly hovering over the baby, they are ready to tear anyone apart if they get too close and they are always out there worrying about how to feed, change and nurse the baby.
What about the papa bears though? They’re barely heard of because of the one mistake many men make after getting a baby; the assumption that it’s the mother’s job to take care of the child. This is wrong on very many levels but the short of it is that both parents should be equally involved in bringing up their children.
One way of building a good foundation of fatherhood in their young one’s life is by actively bonding with them as much as they can, especially after they are born. Here are a few tips on how fathers can bond with their babies and establish a strong presence in their lives:
BE THERE AT BIRTH
Well, not literally. Unless, of course, the father, the partner and the hospital in general have no problem with his presence in the labor ward.
Once the baby is born, the nurses usually let one of the parents hold the baby on their chest for some skin-to-skin contact. This first touch is very important for both the baby and the parent; it introduces the baby to the first person they can consider their protector and provider.
While its usually the mom, the father can talk with his partner and ask her for the chance. If not, no worries. She will need to rest after the delivery anyways! He can hold the baby then. He should be able to look into their eyes (though they can’t see anything yet) and let them hold a finger or two.
Such beginnings are hard to forget, as the bond created will be felt even years later.
FEED THE BABY
Many mothers prefer to feed their babies entirely until the weaning stage. This is a decision both the father and his partner can make. If this is the case, there isn’t much that can be done during mealtimes.
As an alternative, however, the mother can pump her milk and give it to the baby in a feeding bottle. This is actually quite convenient for working mothers who are actively producing milk but don’t have the chance to stay at home and feed their babies. The father can seize this opportunity and feed the baby breastmilk or even formula and other fluids.
This time should be used to create a bond with the baby. The father can talk or sing to them, or even laugh and play with them. This is how the baby hears and gets familiar with his father’s smell, voice and tone.
TAKE THE BABY OUT
The father can make some time to take the baby out once in a while. It could be an evening stroll, a trip to the grocery store, a visit to the toy store or just a walk from the car to the house. This moment can create some valuable memories and help the baby grasp his father’s presence more.
Nowadays fathers are seen in parks and running trails while pushing their babies in strollers. There’s even groups of local dads in many neighborhoods that meet up for an evening stroll with their little ones while enjoying a manly chat. It no longer a ‘woman’s’ job. Fathers should seize the moment and use it to get closer to their children.
TAKE A SHIFT
The father and his partner could take shifts to take care of the baby. This is especially helpful in the first few weeks after birth as the mom will need to rest and recover. The father could also relieve his partner at night and take care of those sleepless nights.
During his shift the father can use the time to get closer to the baby, rather just to quite them and put them back to sleep. He can create moments by simple gestures such as playtime, reading to them, singing to them, changing their diapers, feeding them, lying beside them and just rocking them on their shoulders. These moments should also go on even when they are toddlers and in pre-school.
SHOPPING FOR BABY CLOTHES
This will probably be more significant when the baby is a bit older, say, in pre-school. Kids love few things more than a shopping trip. He could spoil them once in a while and go shopping for snacks or even toys. Most baby girls love clothes, a nice quick trip to the baby girls’ clothes store may buy a whole lot of love. It is, however, important to be careful with these shopping trips as the relationship between the child and his father could quickly change to one based on how many toys and clothes the father get them.
ESTABLISH A REGULAR AND CONSISTENT PLAY TIME
This should a special dad-and-baby moment. There is no harm in including the partner in it either. This time should be spent doing fun activities that should involve everybody participating. It could a simple toy car game, building blocks, toy or playhouse game. As long as the child is positively having fun, the father should try as much as he can to be fully involved. These moments often result in laughter and will certainly create fond memories The baby will be also be ticked out afterwards, ready to sleep with no difficulty.
In conclusion, fathers are very important people in every child’s life, and they should do their best to be involved actively in their childhood as much as possible. Bonding with the child should start the moment they are born, and should carry on even when they are older. This way the father gets to spend precious time with his children while also helping his partner rest and recover. This is the only way the father and mother can both raise their children with the right level of involvement.