Estate Planning With Senior Parents: 4 Important Tips
Discussions about estate planning are something most family members don’t want to have with their senior parents. However, it’s inevitable because life is unpredictable. One day, your aging parents will no longer be there, or their health might deteriorate to the point that they can no longer think clearly or communicate. When this happens, handling disputes about their estate might feel impossible. Therefore, it will be best to have this conversation sooner when they’re still capable of sharing vital information and giving instructions.
What Is Estate Planning?
Estate planning can be defined as how a person (your senior parent) decides what happens to their assets once they’re gone or can no longer think right, often owing to old age or health problems. The assets, in this case, include everything the person owns minus the liabilities.
Although it’s recommended that people have a plan for their estate, many senior parents often end up ignoring the conversation. In return, their possessions end up where they aren’t intended to be or cause endless family conflicts.
Bringing up the conversation can be intimidating, so it will be best to consider involving an attorney in your parents' estate planning process. When you work with an attorney experienced in the field, you can be guided on the legal aspects of the process, which tend to be complex. Remember, your senior parents' wish may never be honored if it isn’t put in writing. That’s why you should consult with legal experts so they can also help your parents understand the importance of having a plan before the end of their life.
Apart from consulting with an attorney, there are several other ways you can make this conversation happen:
1. Involve Your Siblings
According to a survey conducted by Caring.com in 2017, more than half of the adults in the U.S. don’t have estate planning documents, such as a will and living trust. The figure goes even higher for adults with children under the age of 18 years. These numbers are alarming and it’s one of the leading reasons why there are always court battles once seniors die or suffer complex health conditions.
If you’re looking to avoid these unnecessary dramas, then it will be best to have every one of your siblings involved. Holding this conversation with everyone onboard creates a sense of fairness. Besides, it helps to eliminate disputes that may erupt later over what one family member may think the parent would have wanted.
2. Plan The Discussions
The discussion about estate planning isn’t one that you do abruptly. Planning is key. It's ok to come up with a list of topics that you want discussed to avoid missing a point. Remember, the subject is broad, depending on the size of your parent’s estate. If this is your case, you can set up different dates to ensure that everything you’ve got on the table is discussed.
Another thing is you must ensure when setting the dates is that your senior parents are in good health. You shouldn’t just come up with a date to bring the discussion sooner while your senior parent isn’t in the right mind to have a healthy conversation.
Once you’re done with setting the plan and listing the topics, ensure that you share them with every member who will attend, including your parents themselves. By doing so, you’ll be giving everyone on board the heads up, making it easy to start the meeting as they will come prepared to handle the discussion.
3. Don’t Pressure
Discussing your senior parents' estate is crucial. As mentioned earlier, the right time to have this meeting is when your parents are capable to think clearly and make straight decisions. However, this doesn’t mean that you force them into the conversation.
Some seniors tend to avoid this conversation while, in reality, they just don’t want to leave their children fighting. If you find yourself dealing with such a parent, the best you can do is stay calm and avoid putting any pressure on them. If you’ve been away for a while, you can start by lifting their mood first with a gift they'll appreciate. There’s no better way to start any conversation than with a pleasant surprise.
As hinted earlier, you can also bring in professionals, such as an attorney, doctor, insurance agent, or even a close friend, to talk some sense into them. This will help eliminate or reduce their resistance, so you can have a fruitful discussion with them.
4. Keep Notes
Most discussions about estate planning don’t end within a single meeting. Therefore, as the master planner, you should take notes of the important points discussed during the sessions. The notes can be used as a reference during the next meetings since your senior parent may have problems remembering things.
When taking notes, know that they can’t be used to decide who gets what. Therefore, ensure that all your parents' wishes are written down in a will for them to be executed properly when the time comes.
Conclusion
There are many ways to prepare for the future before your senior parents are gone. Whether your parent would want to have a will, a power of attorney, or a trust of some sort, the first place to begin is to sit down as a family and bring in a professional qualified to help with the planning. The tips shared above will help you plan and hold a successful discussion.