Many men, as they get older, and especially when they become dads, find themselves in the awkward position of realising that they’re not up to scratch, and that they aren’t the kind of men they really want to be.
This typically triggers a bout of soul-searching, and a quest to become the kind of responsible, strong, and upstanding guy that a child and wife can depend on, and who society has to take seriously.
Of course, if you’ve spent the majority of your life up to the current moment smoking weed, playing videogames, and not doing much of anything, you likely have your work cut out for you. It may be stressful, but it’s worth doing.
Here are a few basic principles to focus on, at the beginning, in order to get yourself on the right track.
Believe it or not, but if you spend every day wearing stained, baggy, cartoon-print T-shirts, you’re not really sending out the right signals to yourself, to your family, or to the world at large, that you’re a person who takes themselves seriously enough and who is equal to the challenges of life.
Addressing your wardrobe, with stylish, adult clothes like those available from Peter Millar, is an excellent first step towards reforming your image in your own eyes, and getting ready to take the world on directly.
You should have at least one good-fitting suit in your wardrobe, for job interviews, formal events, and other special occasions. Other than that, you should have clothes which flatter your build, seem relatively stylish and up to date, and make you feel good about yourself.
Save the cartoon T’s for weekend lie-ins if you really want to hold onto them.
Always be truthful, and always stick to your word
Pretty much the definition of a steadfast and honourable man, is that he always tells the truth, and always sticks to his word.
In life, it’s very easy to lie. It’s easy to tell “white lies” — such as claiming that you were caught in traffic when you arrive late to work, because you overslept — to big lies, such as cheating on your spouse and denying it to their face.
But lies — even the little ones — are always destructive. They distort the nature of the reality you inhabit. They corrupt other people’s interactions with you. They make you less brave, less forthright, less strong, and less honourable.
A man of integrity is always truthful, and he always does what he says.
Take the stance, going forward, that your word is your bond. Begin to live with integrity, and have those difficult conversations. Your whole existence will be better.
Don’t waste any of your time
A responsible man doesn’t waste half his day casually surfing the web, when he could spend it outperforming the rest of his colleagues at work, working on his self-development, or working to improve his family life.
If you’re a chronic procrastinator, you absolutely must get a handle on your time management.
Begin by timing how long you take on the big tasks during the day, and always aim to reduce distraction and procrastination.