When it comes to raising children, confidence is a really key part of the whole process. While saying confidence, it doesn’t mean being the loudest or the most talkative person in the room. But confidence is key to parenting well. The confidence to go outside of your comfort zone, talk about certain subjects with your children, confidence to discipline, and confidence to love in the right way. When you show your children that you are confident, your children feel more free to be a child and live their life. They feel able to talk to you about things and express their feelings as they know that you can handle what they will say. Growing up as a child that worries about hurting their parents feelings is not going to be a completely happy childhood as it can be a burden. Of course, they need to learn to not speak rudely to people. But to express themselves freely is a massive part of growing up.
Being a confident parent is far from knowing everything or always having the right answer. It also doesn’t mean that you never get sad or make mistakes yourself. But showing our children that we do mess up, we apologize and then move on from it, can be a great lesson for them to see. Being confident as a parent is showing your children that you are in control of your own emotions and that they as the child don’t need to take care of you. Being confident as a parent is saying that you’ve got this, and you’ve got your child’s back, that you are there for them and you can face things together. That all sounds very well, right? But how can you really develop and show this confidence to your children? Here are some ideas of how to display confidence as a parent. I hope that they help.
Keep Emotions in Check
If you start to feel like your anger is getting out of control or you are simply feeling out of control, then it is time to make a change. Removing yourself from the situation until you’re able to calm down is ideal, though with children, is not always a possibility. So if it isn’t, think about ways that will help you to cope. Taking a deep breath before you say something rash or counting to ten, for example, are simple but effective ways of being able to stay in control.
If you approach anything new with a confident and positive mindset, then it can help any situation to have a better outcome than it might have had previously. Some self-talk can be good too. Simple phrases like ‘my child needs me’ or ‘I can do this’ can be straightforward mantras to repeat to help you face the situation that you will be going into. As has been stated above, take a second or two before responding if you need. You don’t want to turn a negative situation even worse.
Help Yourself Be Confident
It can be hard to say ‘go and be a confident parent’ if you as a person have never felt very confident in yourself. So it is important to distinguish between the two. You can be confident in your parenting, but not necessarily as a person, though working on the latter can help. So take time for yourself. If you need to reach out to others, have a ‘day off’ or some time out to feel refreshed, then it can help you to go back into this whole parenting with a renewed vigor. If you feel like you lack confidence in yourself, then look for ways to give that a boost too. You children won’t care what you look like as they love you for you. But if you feel like you need to workout a little more, eat better, or even have a more drastic change, like a Capillus treatment for hair loss, then it could help you overall to feel more confident and happy. It could be that you need to seek help from a mental health professional. At the end of the day, do what you need to so that you can be heading in the right direction.
Think Body Language
Our posture and body language play more of a role in how we communicate than we give them credit for. And it plays an important part in our being confident as a parent. You need to look at getting the mix of being assertive and empathetic right. You don’t want to tower over your children, for instance. Get down to their level and look into their eyes. Use your hands to be open and welcoming for a hug, rather than raising them in defeat or folding them across your chest aggressively. How you hold yourself with give other messages to your children that they are likely to mirror.
Use Phrases To Show Control
When your children are going through a tough time, they need to feel that they are the ones being taken care of and basically, parented. So the things that you say will make a difference. Acknowledge their feelings, by saying things like ‘I can see that you’re upset’ but then don’t just dismiss it. Show them that you are taking control of the situation by saying things like ‘do you want to talk about it’ or ‘let me know what I can do to help.’
All in all, a confident parent is one who is calm, deliberate, empathetic, yet firm. Yelling unnecessarily or using bribery is not the best way to get things out of our children. When you’re a confident parent you are the one in charge, because you are the adult. It can feel daunting, but like anything it is important to remember that being a confident parent does not mean that you’re perfect. Being a parent is a lot of trial and error in many cases, and seeing what works for you. Plus, our children are different and have different needs, so it will vary from child to child how you parent. Eventually you will get into your groove and be the confident person that your child needs.