Tips For Regaining Intimacy After Becoming Parents

Once upon a time, it was just you and your wife, and all you had to worry about was each other.  There were no soccer practices to worry about or music lessons to rush to. Your schedules were flexible and full of much more downtime.  However, once you have kids, you have to share each other with other people. It can not only be stressful, but it can start to take its toll on your intimacy.

Juggling everyone else’s needs can often lead to putting your relationship on the back burner.  However, intimacy is a critical part of a lasting marriage. Quality time is essential in order to stay a couple and not just roommates.  So how do you have sex again after all this time?

Here are some of the things that you can do to put the spark back into your relationship if you feel like you’ve lost that loving feeling.

Put Effort Into Your Appearance

After being together for so long, you may start to feel like you don’t need to make as much of an effort as you did in the beginning.  It’s easy to believe that she’ll love you forever despite the cargo shorts and dad bod. While this may be true, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t sending the wrong message.

When you stop making an effort, you’re showing her that you don’t care about what she thinks.  You don’t necessarily have to go out and buy a $3000 suit or get a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but you should put forth a basic effort.

Make sure your hair is well groomed, and your clothes are clean. Brush your teeth, and put on real shoes once in a while.

Have An Open Conversation

Sometimes the lack of intimacy isn’t due to a physical problem, but rather an emotional one.  When there is a distance between you, the last thing on your mind is being physically intimate.

The best way to conquer that hurdle is to get everything out on the table.  Have an open conversation about why you think things have gotten the way that they have.  Be sure to listen as well as participate.

Show Your Appreciation

One of the most effective ways to show someone that you care is to show them that you appreciate all that they do.  There are many different ways to show someone that you appreciate them. You can tell them with words. You can also give physical gifts, which symbolize your love. You can demonstrate your appreciation by acts of service, like painting the kitchen or even taking out the trash.  Lastly, you can also use physical touch- even something as simple as a hug.