How And Why Every Dad Needs To Be His Kids' Life Coach
It seems that every time you go to a web browser these days, you see articles, ads, videos and more about getting a life coach to deal with so many all aspects of modern fatherhood and life (and many others that you didn’t even know existed!). You are probably already dealing with trying to find
Balance. Between your work and career, family, friends, and yourself.
Time. Juggling a million obligations every day and feeling overwhelmed, living in the moment and being able to tune in to what your loved ones need form you
Energy. To de-stress and be present for all around you with a sense of optimism and joy; no more losing it from 1-100 at the drop of a hat, and be a better example for your kids.
Fun. The excitement and laughter that makes life sweet, having the sense of passion and drive in all areas of your life.
Intimacy. So many dads find they lose this in the whirl of family lifestyle
So that is all you have to contend with in the struggle to become and be the best dad possible. We all want that, right?
The reason why life coaches are so popular is that for the first time, modern men have come to realize that they have unrealistic expectations and that their emotional resilience and following on from that, their physical and mental health have been neglected and not taken seriously, for generations. We are literally pulled apart in so many directions in trying to fulfill the mythical “strong” man and yet to be a nurturing father, and for most they feel like there is no end, no solution.
That is why modern fathers have taken to being open about their feelings of being overwhelmed, their emotional struggles and being unable to express their fears by seeking help from life coaches who specialize in helping fathers to thrive.
What Do You Want For Your Children?
It is a fair guess to assume that a father wants one or more of the following outcomes for their kids, to:
want their kids to have an easier and more secure fulfilling life than they did.
want to have a great open and rewarding relationship of trust with their kids.
want to have respect from their kids.
want to know that if their child is having issues, needs help or is otherwise struggling and/ or needs help, they will be the first person their child turns to because their child trusts their advice and support.
What, in reality are the struggles and fears that most dads have for their children? How about:
to have no idea how to connect with and stay connected with their kids
to see the kid who used to want to spend time with them, and look at them like their dad was their world not even seem to care if they exist any more
to fear that their kids will become an unruly, argumentative and uncaring teenager
to find that their kids’ behaviour will become a catalyst for strife in their marriage, even divorce.
How Can You Become A Kid’s Life Coach?
Think about this one thing- if you, with all your experience as a man, a father, business leader and so one, may need needs support negotiating life’s struggles from a coach.
Then consider the needs of your child, in an increasingly fast-paced internet savvy world, with all of the disturbing messaging from adults in power who should know better, social media oversharing, pandemics and school shootings; he or she has to make sense of this all. The person they need to do that should be you. Yes, YOU need to take on that challenge as a dad and as a life coach for kids.
Approximately 35 percent of American children experience stress-related health problems. According to many psychologists, pediatricians and health care providers, experiencing stress in children plays a major role in increasing physical, mental and social problems.
What is the one thing all kid’s need, and yet despite most parents’ best efforts to the contrary, what can we parents unwittingly strip from kids without even trying?
Self-esteem.
Self-esteem is undoubtedly the most important internal skill that kids need to be taught. It’s our job to teach it to our kids. They need it to be prepared for life and it starts at an early age, especially in the sometimes brutal environments that modern kids have to grow up in.
So how can you be your kid’s life coach for self-esteem? Here are three quick tips:
1. Don’t say don’t.
Don’t use negatives, ‘don’t, won’t”
Try to avoid “don’t slam the door”, try “good job in not slamming the door” and explain why!
have you ever told your kid, “don’t slam the door” only to find the next thing you know, the door is slammed? A child’s brain will process “slam the door” and it will do what you wanted it to do. because, brains are not hotwired to process negatives.
2. Use Affirmations!
Affirmations are positive ideas that you can teach easily
- I am calm and will not shout across the house
- I am going to brush my teeth every day after meals
- I will speak to my siblings kindly and with respect
By repeating positive affirmations with your kids, their brains will gradually learn to respond to that positivity. The behaviours then become habitual.
3. Be honest with your kids.
Always show your kids that you have struggles, but that you deal with them positively and be the example. Show that you can learn something new in front of your kids. When they see you learn, they will know they too can learn anything. It is what will make them a success. These are all learned skills; no one is born with them.
Be the parent who helps their child achieve something they thought was impossible.
Be that life coach, friend, and mentor, not just a parent. Be the example that the possibilities in life for you and your kids are endless.
Do share your best kids’ coaching tips in the comments!
Be positive!