Pebbles And Sand

My family and I love taking holidays. It wasn't long ago when we planned our first beach holiday. My daughter was big enough to be excited about it and we were all looking forward to the sunshine, beach and ocean time. That was the idea, at least. It didn't go exactly according to plan. Just before leaving my daughter got sick and I caught a fever. We spent the first half of our ten-day trip recovering. And this is where I learnt a valuable lesson about the ocean. In many ways, spending time on the beach facilitated our healing.

The exposure to the salty air healed my daughter and my fever diminished quickly. Within a few days, we were healthy again and enjoying the beach. I'll never forget the way my daughter played with the sand and pebbles, lost in a blissful state of mesmerized beach play. This got me thinking about the ocean and its benefits beyond play, so that you can see the benefits to beach time beyond play.

#1 Healing

As I shared in my holiday story, time at the beach does help to improve your health. But how?

Beach Waves Create Deep Relaxation

Researchers have discovered that the sound of ocean waves changes our brain patterns, opening us up for a deeper rest. This allows for greater levels of rejuvenation in both body and mind.

Better Oxygen Absorption

Anytime that you're in nature, you're in a place that has negatively charged ions in the air. This may sound bad, but it's actually very good for you.  Negative ions neutralize free radicals, speed up our metabolisms, improve our immune systems, purify our blood and bring equilibrium to our autonomic nervous systems. This, in turn, helps us sleep better and even improves our digestion.

The ocean or waterfalls are places that are dense with negative ions. This allows us to take in more oxygen with every breath. Being by the ocean may even reduce headaches. Best of all, this increase in oxygen balances your serotonin levels which changes your mood and makes you feel better. As a dad, you’re under stress that your children don’t know, so beach time is important for you too! If you’re looking for more ways on de-stressing, my friend Jim Mckenzie has a great program that is specifically for dads and how they can handle stress in their lives.

Full Body Workout

Even if you're only swimming in the ocean for a few minutes, it's full-body workout. This will improve your blood circulation and the functioning of your immune system.

Mineral Rich Ocean Water

Ocean water contains magnesium, salt, potassium chloride and a whole lot of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. All of this means that seawater is great for combatting infections, building back immunity and making your skin look younger and more vibrant.

#2 Sensory Development

The beach is going to help with your child's physical and mental development, almost regardless of what you do. However, as a dad, there are many ways that you can play a part in this development. All it takes is knowing what you're focusing on, why you're focusing on it and how to bring your child to a deeper level of awareness about what they're experiencing. The great thing about this experience is that you train your own level of awareness while you build your child's!

A Word of Caution

Now, before I get started, please remember that for some sensitive children, the beach can be a place of high stimulus. The wind, the crashing waves, the birds, the people...for some children, this can be too much. If this is your child, it's okay. Give them a few minutes of beach time and then leave, repeating the process in greater stretches of time. Eventually, they will be able to integrate the stimulus and assimilate it without any trouble.

Sight Development

There is so much to see at the beach. The ocean waves, boats in the distance, rocks, pebbles, stones, trees, birds and people. Everywhere your child looks, there's something to see. As a dad, you can make the most of this. Allow them to lead the experience, following them where they want to go (within reason). Once they pause, take time to ask them questions about what they're seeing:

"What do you see?"

"What colours can you see in the sand?"

"What do you see that is close?"

"What do you see that is far?"

"What can you see in the water?"

By asking them questions about what they're seeing, varying the distance and the focus, you teach your child to be adaptable and use their sight in a holistic way.

Hearing

From the sound of crashing waves to the gulls on the beach to the foaming sound of water slipping between the sand, the ocean is an orchestra of sounds. Most of us go through our time at the ocean without fully appreciating them. However, you can bring your child's awareness of each sound you recognize.

"What sounds do the waves make?"

"What do you hear when the waves slip back into the ocean?"

"What birds do you hear around you?"

"What sound does the sand make under your feet when you walk?"

Sometimes, it doesn't even have to be a question, but more of a direct phrase.

"Notice the sounds coming from the trees."

Smell

A day at the beach is filled with a variety of scents. Salt in the air, seawater, sand, sunscreen, etc. To bring each of these smells to life, ask your child to close his/her eyes and ask them questions about what they're smelling.

"What does the air smell like?"

"What does the ocean smell like?"

Taste

While you don't want your child drinking seawater and tasting sand, there are many tastes that come to mind when you're spending time at the beach.

"What does the air taste like?"

Touch

From the sand to the water, to the pebbles and rocks along the shore, if your child is anything like mine, this will be one of their most memorable experiences at the beach. During this stage it's important to bring their awareness to all forms of contact that are being made with their skin. Not just their hands, but beneath their feet, on their arms, necks and even on their faces. Not only are they building a greater awareness of their proprioception, they're also developing hand-eye coordination and working on their gross and fine motor coordination, too.

"How does the sand feel beneath your feet?"

"How do those pebbles feel in your hands?"

"Are the stones smooth, slippery, rough, etc?"

"How are you going to climb up these rocks?"

Relaxation Through Presence

Spending too much time thinking draws us away from the present moment, the only place where we can enjoy ourselves completely and make the most effective decisions. The beach and its multi-sensory experiences help to keep us in the present. This kind of engagement is another reason why we relax at a much deeper level. By whatever means possible, engage your children in the present. Each of you will benefit from being in the moment.

Work on Your Child's Limitations or Lack Thereof

Some children are brave and will do everything on their own. Others are anxious and full of trepidation to even put a toe on the sand. Wherever your child stands, the beach will teach them many lessons about confidence and humility. A father’s role in this place is to support the anxious child to experience more and then to reign in the reckless child to teach them that there are some places where they will not win the fight. A healthy respect for the ocean is a life skill, but so is a healthy appreciation for it.

Supporting the Anxious Child

If your child is nervous to explore, take them by the hand and lead them where they are willing to go. Be patient with them. If you can get them to put so much as a toe in the water on the first day, then consider this a success. Celebrate with them and praise them for being brave. Turn it into a game, asking them if they're willing to try the next "level". This could be climbing an embankment, rocks, or even going knee-deep into the water. Inch by inch, bravery is earned in the doing.

Challenging the Confident Child

If your child is ultra-brave, they may be prone to taking risks. This is a time where you'll need to be near at hand, watching that they don't do something dangerous. The key here is to give them a bit of room to experience that a beach is a place that they need to respect. Limitations are important to learn, especially when your children learn them for themselves. And it's okay if they fall, make mistakes or even fail at something. That's where some of the best learning can happen!

Choose Your Beach and Let the Learning Begin

Before you head off to the nearest beach to play with your children, take a few minutes to search for the best child-friendly beaches. You should also look at finding a beach that is clean. Once you've found a beach that you're happy with, pack everything you and your family will need.  I think it's important to decide what type of fathering style you're going to implement out on the beach, one that works for your child and their learning.

Personally, I suggest packing extra "patience". While the learning journey may be fun and filled with much laughter, it will sometimes require you to be extra patient with your children. Growth and development happens in their time, not ours.

About The Author

Balint Hovarth is the founder of www.projectfather.com and a prod father of a young daughter Amelia.  In his blog he shares some insights based on lessons learned on upbringing, on how to get more sleep during nights, what gears your family might need to make your life easier, and many moreuseful fatherhood advice